Alright, so I just watched an episode of Dr. Phil (which is rare) and it was about the male ego and how it can get out of control when it involves sex. Well, I don’t know how many people watch and take what he say’s seriously. I’m also not exactly sure what the “Dr.” in front of his name is for and I don’t know what he’s qualified to do. I do know it’s not for psychology. I’ve also noticed that he likes to gang up on a particular guest he feels is in the wrong and then has the audience approve his thinking by applause. Today, it was two guys who he thinks are full of themselves that were being ganged up on. I’ll call them guy #1 and guy #2. This is how I perceived both men.
Guy #1 was arrogant and a narcissist. He didn’t need Dr. Phil to gang up on him because, the way he talked about himself and the way he talked about women did the damage for Phil. He referred to himself as a “high caliber man” as if he is of the upper echelon of single men. There’s a line where confidence turns into arrogance. One attracts women, the other does not. He had built himself up to be this “dream dude” on an online dating service, and got upset when his built up self got rejected. Instead of taking the rejection like a man, he sent a nasty e-mail to the woman who rejected him. His defense was, she contacted him, therefore it is his decision to reject her not her decision to reject him. He also went into this rant about how many headshots she had on her profile, therefore she must be fat and needed to go to a gym. Things like that are why he castrated himself on T.V. which was painfully funny to watch. I would agree, this guy’s ego is out of control.
“I had had some correspondence with this girl. She must’ve found me appealing, so she e-mailed me. She had six pictures of her head on her profile. She’s hiding something. She’s probably big. I sent her back a pretty standard e-mail. I told her I work for a Fortune 500 company, I work out four days a week, I live in the ritziest part of town, and I was educated at the best school in the country. The girl sent me back an e-mail saying we’re not a personality match. I didn’t ask her to suck her toes, I didn’t ask her to send me her underwear. She hit on me, and then she’s telling me she’s not interested? I sent her an e-mail that said, ‘I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to pass my criteria and standards. Six pictures of your head lets me know one thing: You are not in shape. I’m a trainer on the side, so the next time you meet a guy of my caliber, just get to the gym. I will even give you one free training session.’ She decided to send my e-mail to every media outlet.” (Dr. Phil transcript)
He clearly can’t get over himself and he’s trying way too hard to impress. Am I wrong? His reply to the woman was his way of defending the way he sees himself since his image was so wrongly damaged by the evil woman. He’s saving face to the most important person on the planet, himself.
Guy #1
Guy #2 aka “Casanova”, was made to be a bad guy as well, but I think Dr. Phil failed. Yes, #2’s ultimate goal, i.e. “Getting Laid in NYC” isn’t his best work, though I’m sure many other guys would argue that it is. Also the fact that he has a memorized count of 132 women he’s slept with doesn’t help him either, yet that’s a double standard us guys are on the ‘good side’ of. His (#2’s) method for getting a phone number and a date are fantastic! I think Dr. Phil missed that because he was so stuck on the 17-page explanation of how to get laid in NYC and the 132 sex partners. Phil tried to get the crowd to gang up on him, to tell him how bad of a person he was. By the way, the crowd was mostly women… Anyway, I don’t know if it’s because of my age or if it’s because I’m a single guy, but I’m on guy #2’s side. #2 even showed with another person (“self proclaimed introvert”), how his so called caveman technique works. I would say, this guy’s ego is a controlled chaos. His ideas are in the right place, but his execution is slightly flawed.
“I wrote this 17-page little manifesto called Getting Laid in New York City. We’ve got three things: A) ***** is the second most abundant thing after water, B) men should act more like cavemen. Grab that woman off the street, drag her back to your lair, and C) women ultimately only care about a man’s ability to pay and how well he makes love to her.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with sleeping with girls whom I have no long-term interest in. I’m more selective about whom I have dinner with than whom I have sex with.” (Dr. Phil transcript)
Guy #2
“The Caveman Technique”
- Introduce yourself to the woman (hello works the best), use eye contact.
- Quickly build a good rapport and do not spend too much time on one woman to keep a little bit of mystery about you. Don’t go from woman to woman to woman in front of those women! That’s just dumb and desperate. Be a little selective.
- Ask for her contact information, if you get it, move on. If not, move on.
- Go on the date and do not drink alcohol.
- If all goes well, it’s back to your place
- Then, it’s on!!
“The big key there is to enter with confidence, keep it light and playful, get the contact information and then get out of the situation…” (Transcript)
GUY #1, IT’S CONFIDENCE NOT ARROGANCE!! 
Simple! Though I wouldn’t agree with the bars and clubs as a good place to meet women. Guy #2 was just too smooth for Dr. Phil. I think…I know it’s all in perspective of how to view #2. Single men 18 to maybe 35 will see him as I do or even in a better light. Married men, depending on how long they’ve been married and their age, may see him as I do or they’ll see him as Dr. Phil does. Dr. Phil is an old married guy who hasn’t had to be in the “single guy mentality” in I don’t know how long. Majority of women, especially older women, will see him as bad because Dr. Phil has put it in the minds of those who watched that every single guy that uses those techniques (first 3 listed) wants to get them in the sack that evening. Sex is on our minds a lot and we know what we want…but many of us have a lot more respect for women than that. It was a nice attempt to villainize #2, but there was not enough on him and he didn’t do the work for Dr. Phil like guy #1 did. Overall he was just a real cool cat.
“You say there are three kinds of women: yes, no and maybe. So, what was she?” Dr. Phil asks.
“She’s probably a yes girl, but you have to earn her,” #2 says. “She’s a beautiful, quality woman, and I think she probably said, ‘This guy is interesting, he’s intriguing, but too much baggage to have a fling with.’ She didn’t want to get hung up on my stuff.” (Dr. Phil transcript)
The guy isn’t disrespectful like guy #1, he’s got some sense. I’m not saying I agree 100% with guy #2, I just agree with his dating method (first four points) because it works for dating. With exclusive relationships, I would disagree with this being used on more than the one woman you are seeing. But, maybe that’s just my male ego talking and justifying #2’s reasoning for me to see it as acceptable.
